I'm currently blogging in the library. Yes, the library - I place I had grown quite familiar with freshman year but have since become very distant with. Why am I here? Well that's a silly question - I'm
obviously here to get a bunch of shet done. Am I getting any of it done? I think we can answer that question by realizing that I'm blogging in the library instead of doing what I came here for....
I came here as a way to get out of the apartment in the hopes that I wouldn't be distracted by everything I have there so I could get my history paper done - well, not the entire paper, a "brief" description of the paper and a bibliography is due by Tuesday (I have the topic, but no sources.... maybe blogging wasn't a good idea) - but I haven't been very successful thus far.
Just being here makes me feel a lot less stressed though. It's a lot quieter here, and even if you're not getting much accomplished you usually feel like you are for the simple fact that people go to the library to get things accomplished, and since everyone else is getting things done, you can indirectly feel like you're getting things done. Clearly I'm just bullshitting myself, but there's not much else I can do at this point. I'm completely unmotivated to do any work - I'm stressed, sick, tired, and frustrated with about five different things all at once. But I'll manage. If I could just finish shaking this cold I would be fine. The simple fact that I'm sick is causing me the most stress to be perfectly honest; it seems like I always get sick at thee most inconvenient times (hence why I'm usually always sick!). Plus my Nike+ Coach says I need to go for a two mile run tonight, which wouldn't be difficult at all if I wasn't sick. But I don't think it would be very smart to go running with this cold. I can picture myself about three hours from now trying to go running though (it'll more than likely happen, considering I don't take care of myself like I should (which is another reason why I'm always so sick!)) which is probably going to end badly.
If I can just make it until Tuesday I'll be fine - my paper topic will have already been submitted and I'll already have all my sources together, and my work schedule won't be so hectic too. I need to talk to my boss about my hours though - she keeps scheduling me for more than thirty hours a week and I can't handle it anymore; my schoolwork is starting to suffer and I'm so stressed and irritated that I keep freaking out and pushing people away. Definitely not the best situation to be in right now. So I'm just taking a step back from everything, getting my work done, and, once again, trying to balance everything that's going on while still trying to maintain some sanity. So far it's been a pretty decent week. Then again, it is only Sunday....
